One of the most idiotically comical movies I have ever watched is the Hangover II. Those boys were so hilarious I watched that movie more than once. In this particular scene the boys, again, did not remember what happened the previous night and were really having a roller coaster of a day. Particularly Alan Garner (Zach Galifianakis), so he began complaining and moaning about it, I guess feeling like a victim of circumstances was dissolving him of all responsibility and making him feel better.
Leslie Chow’s (Ken Jeong) response to all this sounded harsh but it was blunt, “But did you die“! He said in response to Alan’s negative monologue.
This got me thinking though!!!
We all need a Leslie Chow moment or friend to give us a reality check. It’s not always comfortable and welcome. You don’t pay a gym instructor to tell you what you want to hear. That would be utterly moronic and obtuse to say the least. The Leslie Chow characters in our journey of life will be unequivocal to us, though it may feel apprehensive we actually get crucial unambiguous feedback. It was true that Alan was having a bad day, It was true that he got shot at. In fact he was close to death.
However Leslie Chow hit with the question that took him off his pity party. I know this from experience, I’ve been at rock bottom with no job, no place to stay, no relative within a 500 km radius from me but I still needed to get off my ‘you know what’ and keep moving. How does hosting a self pity moaning session help me? Well I have a few answers, it’s the fastest way to have a negative vibration all day, attract negative people, develop depression and a feeling of being trapped and powerless.
The Locus of control study by Professor Claudia M. Mueller shows us that we feel more motivated to change our outcomes when we realize we are actually responsible for our current status and how we feel about it. The Locus Of Control is essentially the degree to which one believes they have control over their lives. When I had an external Locus of Control, I believed that circumstances outside of my control, like weather, political policies, The president, the economy or my parents are responsible for my life’s outcome. This is exactly where most of us are when we are feeling self pity and powerless of our situation .
However, when I shifted to having an internal locus of control, I began realizing how I am responsible for where I was in my life and I can change my future outcome. I started taking my focus off of what was wrong with me and or other people or situations but began spotting more opportunities and attracting positive things in my life. The one kid passes their exam because they believe they are naturally born intelligent. The other kid doesn’t believe they were gifted or born with wit, they believe they passed because they worked hard and applied themselves! One of these kids will have a better attitude facing the vicissitudes of life.
You could have gone through some of the worst moments in your life like the loss of a loved one, a divorce, probably in debt or having to deal with a serious life threatening ailment like cancer. I’d still ask you, “But have you died?”
If your answer is NO then there’s still more to live for, if you are feeling down there is still a different perspective to look at your life because you can change your attitude towards any situation. What looks like a tragedy to some could be a great life lesson and opportunity to become more for you. You can decide that you ALONE are responsible for your joy, peace, serenity and attitude because life is by design!